I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?