You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
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the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once