Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.