I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
COCAINE IS GR8
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.