oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
