Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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