if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
