she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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