I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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