I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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