Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
