I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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