Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
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After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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