A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
