I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
