She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
