You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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