Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
