You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?