You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.