Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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(578): View more from

drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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(817): View more from Texas

Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

there were a lot.

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(360): View more from Washington

I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.

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(585): View more from New York

Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?

(480): View more from Arizona

I knew you two would hit it off

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