Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
