Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.