in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry