party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom