Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.

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  (805): He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head. http://tfl.nu/up5g
  Replies (17) Good night (5993) Bad night (1057)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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  (302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs
  Replies (3) Good night (2954) Bad night (1009)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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  (+44): I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this. http://tfl.nu/p3jk
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (2389)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

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  (630): We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives. http://tfl.nu/wwoi
  Replies (5) Good night (4008) Bad night (984)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.

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  (507): Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars. http://tfl.nu/c0o9
  Replies (5) Good night (2360) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  French fry pizza

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Are you brilliant or just really high?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can't it be both?

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  (330): French fry pizza (502): Are you brilliant or just really high? (330): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/8jk8
  Replies (8) Good night (3436) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips

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  (253): I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips http://tfl.nu/j5et
  Replies (4) Good night (1664) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

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  (402): I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really. http://tfl.nu/wq20
  Replies (13) Good night (1397) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment

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  (316): At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment http://tfl.nu/s8j6
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it

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  (330): You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it http://tfl.nu/ejzt
  Replies (6) Good night (1077) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...

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  (410): Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend... http://tfl.nu/j7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1081) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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  (778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7
  Replies (7) Good night (1066) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

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  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.

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  (410): Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/m5qa
  Replies (10) Good night (433) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.

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  (210): Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline. http://tfl.nu/jwnb
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (285)

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