btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
