So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
