then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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