I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
