i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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