yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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