Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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