the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
