Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
