remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
