you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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