Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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