we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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