it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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