i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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