if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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