:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
