For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm too high and old for this...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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