we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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