And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
