Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
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Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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