Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
