yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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