Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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