if you like me you must not know who I am
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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