6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
