We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
