I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
