Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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