A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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