they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You need a sexual gate keeper
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
