That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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