Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
