yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
