The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
