In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
