I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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