The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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