im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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