he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm passing your future prison.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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