Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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